If you are around me a lot, you would have noticed I have always worn a ring around the middle finger on my left. It was given by erke when he first got the offer to go over to Korea and he decided to buy me a gift before he left. We were little and kinda cute (we still are) and I was telling him I want a ringgggg! That's the only accessory I didn't have back then.

So, he got me a ring and told me to take it off only when my boyfriend finally buys me one ring that really matters. The first ring broke after two years (maybe because it was a cheap one :P ) and I bugged him to get me a new one. And at 18, he got me another ring and I've been wearing it till today.

After all these years, erke did asked me to take it off once, a few months ago but that didn't happen because I was stubborn and wanted to piss him off badly. I guess he was a little frustrated and worried that I'm not seeing anybody for such a long time. xD
And I did consider making a wish upon it and throwing it into the deep blue sea, but that didn't happen either, because the analytical part of me told me that would be a tad too foolish.

I've worn a ring since I was 16 and all of a sudden, halfway through dinner, I slipped it off and put it around my neck.
I dunno what triggered that.

I haven't dated anybody in awhile. And awhile = Almost a year?
Fine. I know I got very fail. I know, I know... I just can't help it. It just happened.
Sorta like, I settled into this 'single' life phase and get so used to it that it feels so hard to let another person into my life.

Maybe I'm just obsessively self-centered that I don't like sharing my life;
or maybe I somehow succeed in psyching myself into being so busy that I don't feel desperate for love;
or maybe because I spend most of my life in South Korea and there's no 'right' person there;
or maybe nobody can accept my temperamental and crazy antics;
or maybe there's too many girl-friends (usually attached themselves) promoting singledom;
or maybe seeing so many other girl-friends pondering about breaking ups, I'm just timidly cautious of another broken relationship,
and also maybe, I'm too sketchy about playing 'the game'.

Okay, okay, I know I'm pretty good with giving uber many justifications for my incompetency in this part of my life.
-____-

A lot of you reading this may practically be able to smell the desperation through what I've just written above. However, before you (whether single and happy being single, single and playing the game, attached and supports singledom, looking but deny your desperation) snort in disgust and x the page, consider that I am 23 and haven't been dating for 'awhile'.
And, there's just no 'right' person around.

Gahhh!!!!!!! I don't think there's a 'right' person. The 'right' person will be there when I stop analyzing and am ready to let someone into my life. Which haven't been happening because I gear back every single time blocking everyone out.

I guess I would love to have a taste of having a special somebody and that is why I slipped that ring off that finger; even though it feels kinda weird not being able to spin it with my thumb. And I couldn't help throwing a few glances at the mark left by the band after so many years.
I guess I could get used to that...



...pretty soon.