Call me a cry baby,
I tear when I quarrel with someone,
I tear when erke said something really hurtful,
I tear when I quarrel with my erke,
I tear when the door was slammed in my face,
I tear when my chair broke down,
I tear when I received another no, another disappointment,
I tear when my phone got banged up,
I tear when my koko told me I got my mom upset, sitting on the sofa at 5am worrying about me,
I tear when my koko told me he love me,
I tear when I'm blogging.
Instead of being cool-headed, I tear, when I'm alone.

Call me crazy, call me emo, call me 'lack of attention', call me freak. I just can't help it.

Always thought my eldest koko don't really give a damn about me, just treating me like a kid.
Always thought my second erke really give a rats ass about me, treating me like someone with a brain.
Now,
It's totally the opposite. My koko trust me to make decisions, he guides, he tells me, but never did he instruct me.

My erke, I always thought of him closer to me than anybody on earth would ever be. I thought the world of him. And I know he loves me.
But he does not show me the respect that I deserve, and he thinks that me blogging here is an 'uncool' thing. Thinking that I should cut my ties with some people that he considers as 'nerds'. And when I do things 'my way' and if it displeases him. He stash out and put me down, in front of everyone, almost anyone. I guess he still don't know that his lil pet sister is starting to have a mind of her own. A life of her own. And it is time to respect the decisions I make. But, I'm not saying I'm all grown up and mature, because I did let my anger get the better of me. And I did make my mom stay up worrying about me. And I'm not proud of that. And I just wish she knows how sorry I am.

My koko, being the eldest, played his part real well in this whole scenario,
With him, u gotta just cut the crap and make him understand your situation, that's all. You gotta stop all the bitching and complains. Because he is just a really cool person. Cool but never cold.
And he offer not much comforting words. Just a few small advice coated with the 'f-word', maybe to express his authority as the eldest? =P
But if u read between the lines, u may feel the unseen care and love there.
And when you tell him you love him. He totally melts even though he does not show it.
It's just that I can feel it. And I know u gonna read this. Just admit it, your darling lil sis has her ways to make you adore her despite her being a noisy, hard-headed brat.
He ends his conversation with asking me to take care (cooly). But little did he know that he just made me tear again.

Love ya, ALL.

If you wanna eat supper at nite, don't find meiping, laiyee or viona or any girls.
They are scare if they will grow fat.
Especially when, you suggest fried chicken for supper.

Find didi, cause he will teman u do jiwang, crazy stuff. And he will tell u that, "Actually I not yet eat my dinner..." and, he will also remind u not to wear something "mini". Must wear thicker.
Wearing my bulky jacket, a hat and a scarf that wasn't matching at all, he and I ate our warm warm chicken on the beam of a bridge with bright yellow lights shining down. And "thong thong" sounds of vehicles above our heads.
It was 11 degrees celcius. Nice!~
hehehehehehe..


Suddenly,
a policeman came up to us, (he reminded me of those tangkap khalwat ppl in malaysia. ==)
asking if we've seen anybody jumping into the river.
Didi said, there might be a corpse around there and demanded to get outta there immediately, which I obediently followed.
Ended up eating at the top of the stairs. There was no corpse. Just chicken. Mmmm.. nice.

To those who are wondering whether I'm alive...
Yes I am! ^^ muah..~
And to the question why I don't update my life...
It's because I finally have a life after my exams and I'm too busy to update my blog.

So, what got me updating now?!
I'm just so pissed with somebody now I wish I can do all these to him!!!!!!!!


Calling me "fucker" right after I bought and brought his damned supper to his room!!! And after making me wait more than 15 minutes for the new episode of heroes!

I so wish I can stab him in the head just like this!

And may his blood splutter all over the place!!!!
I don't fucking give a damn.

Edited photo removed by administrator (according to my mom it's a bad thing to do==)
Ahh... I feel so much better now..~
Time for bed~

Lesson learned by readers. Don't call khay inn a fucker. Plus I don't have a dick, how can I fuck?!
Go fuck yourself if u happen to read this. And I will never delete this post!
If you're thinking that I'm being childish, so what? Who cares? =P
I soooooo! enjoy editing that photo. muahhh~

Yodeley yodeley yodeley hehuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!

Ok, I'm just a lil crazy now, stupid exams, I'm so fucking gonna kill the person who created the whole damn exam thingie. Whom anyway, is dead by now. So lets just forget about it.
But something cheered me up -------->^^ this ^^
and special thanks to my baby who's gonna treat me if I stay in the library long enough to make my ass hurt!
Muah muah gan junqi the cry baby and tan meiping the serious baby
He.he.he.
Babai~

Stole em' pics from all over the internet. heh ^^v

Went to Yoeido park yesterday to watch the annual fireworks festival.
Didn't feel like going at 1st cause I was kinda tired.
Halfway trough my nap, baby called and ajak. Since I know I'll do nothing even if I stay at home, I went. And it was soooooooo rewarding!
Went there real late and the whole riverside was packed with humans!!
And Koreans are kinda barbaric when it comes to these kinda things, they shoved and pushed their way trough the stream of humas and at times I felt like screaming "STOP!!!" into their faces.
Bought a cup of rameon and when I was on an empty wide path a girl bumped all the breath out of me from the opposite direction. She clearly wasn't looking in front! Just dash dash dashed!!!
With a 'cool' "sorry", she walked off, leaving me staring at my cup of rameon on the floor, and my white shirt covered with stinky rameon soup. EWWWWW!
I SO HATE HER!!! ergh!!!!!!!!!!!!! fuck it fuck it fuck that damned korean girl!!!!

Well, lets not focus on the bad stuff. =_=
We( baby, didi and ah kong the big brat) watched the fireworks right beside a rubbish dump. Creative eh? =.=" (Because everywhere was taken)

I watched with my mouth open wide... =P

See, see!
Butterflies!!! ^^ Amazing rightttt?!!!!!

And heart shapes!!!( I'm sure you'll like this tay sue yen!!!)
See, see!!!!!!

Awww.. I like this, it looks like a firework-waterfall.
This is actually fireworks dropping off the bridge.

Made a mental promise to myself that I will not miss out any fireworks festivals over the next 4 years because it's reaaaaaaaally worth it. Trust me!
Well, minus the crowd, and that damned korean gurl!!! ^^ ~

I hurt my hand a week ago when I was cooking spaghetti. Urggggh, u can call me stupid (only this time!!!)
Ran cool water on my hand and then with soaking it in a bowl I cleared up the mess.
Was late for my 2pm 'penguin class'. 10 minutes into the class, the burning sensation was too much to bear. Dashed out of the classroom to my college's health center (dunno lah what is it called..)
Nobody was in =.=" Ran into the toilet to soak my hand cz it eased the pain a little.
Went back to that health center, the teacher asked me to go to the hospital opposite my college.

Then, I got this which led to a typing dysfunction. Theew wasdy i tyupe qwaws lkie thisd. (the way i type was like this=.=)

And a shot in my upper ass.
And these, they are so adorably colorful.

Now, after one week. It's much better.
I've got wrinkled skin in those spots

Super long post of one of the angels in my life, typed to be preserved in my blog so u better quit if you're not interested.

Oh well, since u didn't then u are interested I guess.

The specty guy is my papa, the blue one my koko, the brown one my erke, and the pink one me.
This is a pic of all four of us on a bike heading towards the hills, the red thingy is my house just beside the sea ^^And that is smoke, my mama was cooking then I guess...

When I was young, used to fancy papa more than mama. ha.ha.
He was the one who taught me how to skate way into the nite, it was nearing night time, I can still remember it all vividly in my memory.
Him, holding my hands, and me in the pair of red roller skates and the weak sun rays dropping lower and lower behind the hills.
And him, bringing us three lil brats on his wind surfer in the sea, when lil shrimps jumped onto the board. We brought buckets and pails to try catch em'.
Him, not scolding me after discovering that it was I who plucked all his fresh veggies to feed the chickens when he thought his crops were attacked by some kind of worms.
Him, holding my hand pulling me up the steep slope when we went hill-climbing.
Him, teaching me to draw apples in the sea, so I could swim breast stroke.
Him, accompanying and telling me bed time ghost stories when I shifted into my own room at 10.
Him, not scolding me for puncturing a hole in his batik with the canting when he left it there to take a break.
Him, talking to me in the car, just us two in the car. And me praising him for having grown some 'baby hair' on his bald head just to get a cornetto from Esso.
Him, waiting up into the night when I went out with my ex the other day.

The person that came into view whenever the video call in msn established will always be my papa. My dear papa.^^
Sitting in front of the computer, he always listen to me rattling on about my life, my grumbles etc. And after some time, when I ran out of stupid stuff to gibber, he will then ask a few things and then leave to go get my mummy to talk to me. I could see that he wants to talk to me but the words just don't come out.
When I broke up, he wasn't the one asking me about my problems, he just asked, "How are things with you and him?" and when I bursted and asked him to quit asking about my ex, he just went away and the next time we turn on the webcam again, the same question will pop up.
He actually really wanted to talk to me, wanted to care, but since I'm always telling mama my girlie stuff that I reckon he will not be interested in, he just backed off from the scene without a grunt.

I didn't celebrate his birthday with him although I was back in Malaysia then. I booked my tiks to sabah sarawak waaaay earlier without realizing that I'm gonna miss his birthday. I didn't buy him any presents, just a roughly made card I kept hidden in my drawer to suprise him. Speaking of cards, papa made a card for my UPSR exam u know? It's pink and green in colour, and it was signed, mama, koko, erke, and then lastly papa.^^ It was really really sweet ^^
I have got no idea where is the card now. But it will always be inside my head, and my heart.
Muah muah! I love you pappy!! (since there's ma, mammy; there should be pa, pappy! kinn's 1st theory made up when I was on the stairs in nai nai's old house)

Bet you're not gonna read this afterall, I just wrote it here cause I felt like remembering all those sweet moments when I was your little girl, and I guess, I will always be her.

I read this book two days ago in my baby's room.

After dinner I've done 5 chapters.
Then I suppressed the urge to keep reading because of my maths test. Ok, I'm a disciplined perfect student. Ha.Ha.
Yesterday, I went to grab the book from my baby. After supper, it was already 1am I guess? when I reached home, showered and settled down in my cozy bed to read it.
And with some munchies, and a cup of warm peach flavor lipton tea. Ah, now life is a bliss!
Read till 4am+ and I just can't finish the damned book!
Don't know where Rowling get to korek all that stuff out of her small head and put it into 759 pages.

Woke up at 2pm today and after some cookies-brunch, I continued reading. Pausing now and then and taking a break during dinner. And believe me, I didn't even flick the switch of my comp till ah kong came and he turned it on!
That's it. I can go crazy when it comes to reading. No kidding.

Seriously, I like the books waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay better than the movies leh.
And if ah kong wasn't cooking in my room just now, I might cry reading "The Prince's Tale".
ergh ergh ergh. Ok, it's lame. I think I'll stop typing now.
Oh ya, My plans to do physics homework on my own are down in anyang cheon. =P