If you are around me a lot, you would have noticed I have always worn a ring around the middle finger on my left. It was given by erke when he first got the offer to go over to Korea and he decided to buy me a gift before he left. We were little and kinda cute (we still are) and I was telling him I want a ringgggg! That's the only accessory I didn't have back then.

So, he got me a ring and told me to take it off only when my boyfriend finally buys me one ring that really matters. The first ring broke after two years (maybe because it was a cheap one :P ) and I bugged him to get me a new one. And at 18, he got me another ring and I've been wearing it till today.

After all these years, erke did asked me to take it off once, a few months ago but that didn't happen because I was stubborn and wanted to piss him off badly. I guess he was a little frustrated and worried that I'm not seeing anybody for such a long time. xD
And I did consider making a wish upon it and throwing it into the deep blue sea, but that didn't happen either, because the analytical part of me told me that would be a tad too foolish.

I've worn a ring since I was 16 and all of a sudden, halfway through dinner, I slipped it off and put it around my neck.
I dunno what triggered that.

I haven't dated anybody in awhile. And awhile = Almost a year?
Fine. I know I got very fail. I know, I know... I just can't help it. It just happened.
Sorta like, I settled into this 'single' life phase and get so used to it that it feels so hard to let another person into my life.

Maybe I'm just obsessively self-centered that I don't like sharing my life;
or maybe I somehow succeed in psyching myself into being so busy that I don't feel desperate for love;
or maybe because I spend most of my life in South Korea and there's no 'right' person there;
or maybe nobody can accept my temperamental and crazy antics;
or maybe there's too many girl-friends (usually attached themselves) promoting singledom;
or maybe seeing so many other girl-friends pondering about breaking ups, I'm just timidly cautious of another broken relationship,
and also maybe, I'm too sketchy about playing 'the game'.

Okay, okay, I know I'm pretty good with giving uber many justifications for my incompetency in this part of my life.
-____-

A lot of you reading this may practically be able to smell the desperation through what I've just written above. However, before you (whether single and happy being single, single and playing the game, attached and supports singledom, looking but deny your desperation) snort in disgust and x the page, consider that I am 23 and haven't been dating for 'awhile'.
And, there's just no 'right' person around.

Gahhh!!!!!!! I don't think there's a 'right' person. The 'right' person will be there when I stop analyzing and am ready to let someone into my life. Which haven't been happening because I gear back every single time blocking everyone out.

I guess I would love to have a taste of having a special somebody and that is why I slipped that ring off that finger; even though it feels kinda weird not being able to spin it with my thumb. And I couldn't help throwing a few glances at the mark left by the band after so many years.
I guess I could get used to that...



...pretty soon.

I am, all of a sudden, very tired of packing and unpacking.
Don't get me wrong. I'm still the travel bug that love the trill of travelling and learning about new cultures etc.
And I am still freaking good at packing all my stuff into my trusty old backpack.
And I am very sure, this is just a momentary vent of frustration because I'm leaving home later.

I'm so envious of others, staying near to home, a place familiar and full of warmth.
I just wish I'm anchored to a more stable life, with a proper home, proper wardrobe for clothes, proper kitchen, proper everythinggggggggg!!!
I don't want to leave my super proper life right now to go back to that basement in Seoul. Seriously, BASEMENTS!!! I don't know how or why humans turned underground places into homes for people to live in.

Maybe life in Seoul wouldn't be that bad when I start working and I get a place of my own.

Had heaps of fun on Redang Island minus the jealous part that I was forbidden to do scuba diving when everybody's persuading me to just do it.
I can't do it without my parents' blessing, seriously.
I guess I'm still a very protected good girl. -_-

By the way, I didn't know the real reason until the moment we sent Pascal off from Terengganu airport.
Daddy forbids me to do my licence because this month is the month of the "Hungry Ghost" in the lunar calendar.
-______________-

Goodnight world.

Despite not looking forward to......
parade in a bikini beside a person with perfect abs.

Right now, pki is
looking forward to......

having alot of sun on a white soft sandy beach.
Wadding in the turquoise blue water and looking up into the clear blue sky.

It has been eight years since I last set foot there.
This time going back as a tourist, I wonder how it is going to be like, my childhood paradise...
<3

kekeke. Memoriesss...
The day I got that freaking ugly scar on my left shin.
And also the day Marie-yon fought for my right.
And also the day she cried like a babyyyyy.
:) :) :)

All of a sudden, I wish that I have a hotter bikini body. -__________-
I sincerely regret downing all the durians, all the char kuay teow, all the nasi lemak, nasi briyani, nasi daun pisang, nasi kerabu, nasi dagang, all the thosai, all the roti......

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...... I'm home only once a yearrr. :(

I have been stuck with my erke for 23 years of my life and we share 167 common friends on facebook. I hope he's home so the five of us can be together..
<3

My hand itched thus the blog layout revamp.
Time for a brighter note in my life, I suppose.

ps: I will miss my clown.
psps: Pa ma was watching KBSW and I saw the announcer that used to host misuda, looking very pretty on set. I jumped on them screaming, "Heyyyy! She was the host of the show!! I know her, I know her!!!", pointing at the screen.
They looked at me with a clueless expression.
Fine. (I was doing some house chores and looking as shabby as my puffy.)
The whole thing just felt funny to me. To ONLY me.